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A secret buried deep in his jeans. That Fassbender movie, by the way? Thinking about a certain girl? Phone vibrating from a call? All valid reasons for a random erection.

Sometimes, just waking up in the morning is enough of an excuse, which certainly leads to problems at middle school sleepovers.

But as men get older, they learn the secrets to harnessing hard-ons. Think about baseball, or the death of a loved one, or the death of a loved one at a baseball game.

Watch this video to learn everything you never knew about the male anatomy:. A big culprit of unreliability is alcohol.

Red wine, bed time. Erections can be strong and free-spirited, like a racehorse, but one false step, and it has to go back in the barn.

To a woman, the penis in the text message looks exactly as it did the last 35 times her horny boyfriend sent it to her.

But the boyfriend knows this one is special and different and wants to share it with the person he loves. Thankfully, men have developed dozens of techniques for concealment.

It can hide a boner in basketball shorts, but heaven forbid you reach up for a rebound and the bottom of your t-shirt lifts up. The gist of all of this?

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A secret buried deep in his jeans. That Fassbender movie, by the way? Thinking about a certain girl? Phone vibrating from a call?

All valid reasons for a random erection. Sometimes, just waking up in the morning is enough of an excuse, which certainly leads to problems at middle school sleepovers.

But as men get older, they learn the secrets to harnessing hard-ons. Think about baseball, or the death of a loved one, or the death of a loved one at a baseball game.

Watch this video to learn everything you never knew about the male anatomy:. A big culprit of unreliability is alcohol. Red wine, bed time.

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Aldeb Haraz 11 Pandemic Legion. Smed Coelus 49 skill urself. Smed Coelus 48 skill urself. Anomaly Enforcer 22 Caladrius Alliance.

Hel p Imgay 43 Pandemic Legion. Marcelo I Capsule Brave Collective. Jarl Carl Ragnarock 42 Pandemic Legion.

Dav1d Wang 18 Fraternity. Cold Cutty 42 Pandemic Legion. Below is a video of the ceremony. So then, it seems that Rutherford County property assessor Bill Boner finds himself the target of sexual harassment allegations.

And yes, right on cue, all of you out there, the peanut gallery, the kindergarten chorus, all chuckle and snicker and make your clever puns about the man's name.

Today we heard that exciting new boner-boosters are on their way! Yayyy boners! People love boners, don't they? They really do.

I mean, just look at these two commenters waxing rhapsodic about boners! Oh, condoms. They're the bane of a horny man's existence, and can sometimes make it hard to keep a raging boner going.

They're also pretty necessary. Click the image to enlarge this rare photograph, which gets more SFW when you zoom in. The phallic illusion will disappear before your eyes!

New Mexico Lt. Diane Denish made a funny during a televised debate.

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